Purgatory Timeshare

5 02 2010

( it would seem that the concept of ‘Purging’ would be central to Purgatory
but I’ve always thought of it as what it is, a novel medieval construct of a church that needed an excuse to sell indulgences. See, Purgatory was sort of like a Hell where your could make bail. This bail was theoretically paid by your well-meaning relatives or guilty ex-lovers in the form of a Papal Indulgence. This was the paperwork I was referring to. It was sort of like a Holy Writ of Habeas Corpus. It got your soul out of jail for the mere price of $49.95 per month in three easy payments.)

purgatory is a pleasant place
an outpost of the undecided
a waiting room for eternity and damnation
the magazines are boring and, good god, musak
while we wait for the paperwork to clear.

God has a lot on his plate
and not as young as He used to be
has His cranky days
and when He drinks it’s outright wrath
but His bureaucrats wear wingtips
like paper angels in a storm of souls

You might wait a century here
or two depending on traffic and destinies
enwebbed in regulations or just cant forget
their suffering or their wishes for revenge
they probably loved life too much and
can’t get over it, so the wait isn’t too bad

syphilis is easy to cure if you get it early
it’s the wasting diseases you want to avoid
like purgatory in the afternoon, afternoon, after afternoon
one of those big white-faced clocks staring at you
the ones with the new second hands that click instead of sweep
the first few decades go quickly filling out paperwork and such
not counting the time it takes to get over the
the post-traumatic schlock comes from
living a life as a human fuckin bean

then begins the chorus of coughing and clearing of throats
like the audience at a John Cage concert
don’t know whether to be bored or try to look interested
someone whispers, “This could go on for awhile.”
“Yes, we’re on the cusp of eternity.”
“Things slow down as you reach the event horizon.”
“Is there a smoking area?”
and on it goes here in purgatory
where they never torture
just give you plenty of time
to anticipate your suffering




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