Occupational Hazards (don’t marry the oboe player)

17 02 2010

there has long been a joke in orchestras
about the oboe players
theory goes like this
because of the vascular pressure
of blowing a double reed
(they get red in the face)
little vessels in the brain explode
so oboe players are the ‘blondes’ in the orchestra

occupational hazard
occupational mentality
bureaucrats think a certain way
engineers think another
and artists? who knows what they think?

coal miners get black lung
if you type your life away you get carpal tunnel
if you are in the military, they will bury you at attention
if you drive a truck you have the rhoids that I won’t mention

occupational hazards
what goes with the territory
guitar players get blisters on their fingers
judges have doubts that must linger

occupational hazards
if you sign up as a soldier, expect to get shot
a fireman has to count on getting hot
there are always occupational hazards

pilots can crash quick as the stock market
doctors go bankrupt from insurance disease
writers go mad from the mean occupation
athletes must replace their knees

I know I’ll die of occupational hazards
living is risky business
but I wouldn’t want to be an oboe player

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